How many times have you felt emotionally overwhelmed? Perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, “I’ve got way too much on my plate. I’m drowning here.” If you’re like me you may have said to yourself, “If one more person asks me for one more thing, I don’t know what I am going to do.” When we’re emotionally overwhelmed, we may experience very strong emotions such as anxiety, fear, low mood or feeling burnout. Strong negative emotions can lead to unhealthy levels of stress. If left unattended, stress can cause other physical and/or mental health problems.
As we know, requests for more of the limited time we do not have, will continue to come. Let’s take a look at what we can the next time we are asked to join a group, lead a team, start up a committee, research a project or otherwise assume more responsibility at work, school or in our communities. While these may all be good causes, are they necessarily good for us? If they are good for us, are they good for us to accept NOW? Before accepting another assignment, try using The Crossroads Task Allocation tool to figure out what to do with new requests in a way can preserve your mental wellbeing.
When a new request is made, or opportunity is presented, the first gift we can give ourselves is the gift of TIME. Time to really consider, to count the cost the impact agreement to the request will have on our now and on our future. If possible, before committing, give yourself space to consider all that is involved in the request. This can be accomplished in three simple steps:
1. Intentionally filter out tasks by asking for details such as, “How much time will it take?” Be honest with yourself and others with respect to your availability.
2. Get comfortable saying “No, thank you.” when initiatives or requests do not align with your current and/or immediate future goals. (If you have trouble saying ‘NO’, review my blog on “Ways to say no.”)
3. Prioritize first, act second. Use the CROSSROAD TASK ALLOCATION TOOL, a four quadrant grid, to place new requests into one of four sections. Each section indicates what should be done with the request/initiative (See file below). If the request is:
a. NOT URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT, such as going bowling or playing Bingo during a busy work/school season => DO NOT DO IT.
b. URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT, such as resolving colleague’s computer/technical issues => DELEGATE TO OTHERS.
c. URGENT & IMPORTANT, such as scheduling mammogram for yourself or loved ones with concerning symptoms => DO IT NOW
d. NOT URGENT & IMPORTANT => such as scheduling date nights with partner => MAKE TIME TO DO IT.
Consistently prioritizing first and acting second may prevent us from taking on tasks we were never meant to undertake. It may also leave room in our schedules for more fulfilling, purposeful and affirming activities. Such activities can actually reduce stress levels and support our mental wellbeing.